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So Say We All

by Heads Held High

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1.
So here I go, with little hair left on my head. You have sapped what small strength I posses. I would have cut it off myself, you had but to ask. Now I’m wandering these dead streets, blind as a bat. This red mane, it hangs over me, and my crushing failure is all I can see. No! Deny the only road that you may ever know. Go! It’s wide enough for you and you alone. My own exploits still tie me to the ground, but I will throw my weight against these pillars and bring your temple down. This red mane, you wear it so well. I may have strength left. My conviction swells. I will bring these columns down.
2.
Are there any among your number who would bemoan the loss of this mental debt, or would you take a chance and say that it was worth the cost of admission. These days, you might never have seen. Well, I’m so over communalism; and I’m just done with unity. It still scares me to think that I’ve scarcely left this apartment in days. I know that everything is changing, but I’m terrified of staying the same. I still speak in rhyming couplets from time to time. I’m a modern day Moliere parody and I’m set in an absent frame of mind. And I wonder if we will ever make it out alive. I wonder about the cliff face, and why we decided to dive when no one was listening. No one reads the words to the liner notes these days. What’s done is done, and with our war left unwon we still march silently off to our graves. It’s not that I can forgive these apologies long gone unasked. It’s not that I can’t forget; but I will die before you drag me back to the past. We march to our graves with our trusty shovels. I will dig by your side. I will dig until you start listening to the words that we have to say. Our war, it could be won if we would only get up and start today. We are the hunger artist.
3.
Do you remember me, what it used to mean, or who you used to be. You used to be so proud, until you found a new acceptance on your knees. I used to be so proud to call you friend. What can I call you know, with all your shame. Now, I’m going to walk away. Just leave me be.
4.
If I said no regrets no regrets I would be lying to you. I often think of all we’ve left undone, and all that we have left to do. We are the fortunate son. We are the beggar on the street. We are the lost little dog. We are the cat who always lands on her feat. When we land this time we will rip the sound right out of you. You will never speak above our voice again. It’s such a cliché thing to say, but we will be heard. Yes I will be heard. When I think of all that we’ve gained, I still add up the loss. I will be beyond satisfied if we could get to a point where we can call the whole thing a wash. We are everything you never want to be. We are not anything. No, we’re not anything special. I am nothing you should concern yourself with. I’m just one man.
5.
Please, someone teach me how to build a time machine; so that I can live a life with no regrets or have meant every word I ever said. I’m not satisfied with who I’ve been. Time is my enemy. It rips this life from me. This future I can’t see, it just keeps coming. Please someone wake me up before it’s too late, so that I can start the race. Stop me at the half truth. I’m still at the starting gate. We are the way, but we are lost. Wake me up today!
6.
If I could believe in what I scream, then we could climb that much closer to our ideals; and I wouldn’t have to feel like I’m lying to you. Well, we would never lie to you. Let’s get dangerous this time. I’ll never promise that it’s going to work, but maybe we’ll be fine. We’re better off than where we were. I will entertain ideas which I wouldn’t have in the past. This is all I ask. We could be so much more honest. You don’t have to put up a front. Bands could say what they mean. If you could conceive of what’s in my head, then I wouldn’t have to feel like a fraud. I won’t let this make me a liar. This will never make us liars. All I ask is that you reciprocate.
7.
And, I still don’t know what to make of this. The dream is not dead, but it doesn’t it exist. You walk the same damned streets, every God damned day. Without fail, someone will ask you for some change. You reply, “I’m incapable of change!” I don’t think before I speak these days. I just spit in the wind and laugh when it flies right back in my face. I don’t know how you can call this place a home; when I’ve always felt this crushed, this alone. Sometimes I hate this town. Do you ever get that feeling? I don’t care what suburb you hail from. I don’t care what bands you can tolerate. Please, just sing me something real. I just need something real.
8.
No one here is impressed. This might be the only place where sincerity means more, a little more than saving face. We navigate by stars, but we never learned their names. If we follow them when falling they will lead us to our graves. We’re swimming for the shore against the strongest tide. Our sales have no color, but we fly them twice as high. I hope we’re more together than we could be apart. Our time is truly finite, but it will not condemn our hearts. We will throw these stones at every window we pass by, hoping our small voices carry through the halls of time. We may walk this path until they day we die. We will be storming the same gate every night until the end of time. We navigate by stars, but we never learned their names.
9.
I can’t believe you hung me with the very rope you stole. After all that I risked, you left me out in the cold. You say that you wish things could be the way they used to be. Well, I’m so sorry friend, but you can’t have it back. Not when you brought us to this end. Never invite a vulture into the comfort of your home, or at least ask for a receipt before he hits the road. When I fall, I leave my doubts upon the floor. I will reach up towards the sky, and I will beg for a little more, because I’m fine. So, don’t talk to me about your insecurities, because I have made peace with mine. Yes, I have peace of mind. I’m not out to win a war. I’m not out to settle a score. I just want to live my life without you banging down my door. I don’t need to be afraid. I don’t need to feel ashamed. Well, I am not afraid; and I am not ashamed.
10.
I don’t need to say a word. You’ve already said them all. I know that I shouldn’t revel in such things, but I can’t wait to watch you fall. Then, like the hypocrite I am, I will extend my hand and turn away. I wrote a check which your pride just could not cash. So, the difference you must pay. I will never be completely alone while I still have these memories. Yet, you will always be somewhat less than me, somewhat less than what you were. Well I’m growing up, but I’m not there yet. So I will enjoy this while it lasts. You sat and watched the flames with a bucket in your hand. You made no effort. You let it burn. I will give you just the same.
11.
Not My Enemy 02:54
It is the same thing century in and decade out. If it happens again tonight, this time will you scream, this time will you shout? Twenty years of your life have gone by in the blink of an eye, and the only thing we know for sure is that we’re all gunna die! It’s ok to be terrified, because we know some day this just will not fly. It might be right now, or many years down the line. So, when they push a gun into your hand and say, “you’re going to kill a man in the name of uncle same,” will it be alright with you. It’s not fine with me. He’s not my enemy. So when you’re staring down the barrel of yet another gun, you can let a new doctrine ring. We can choose to stand or choose to fall as one. So, when the bullets fly don’t dare blink an eye.

about

The debut full length from heads held High, released by Crossface Records in 2008.

credits

released March 1, 2008

Elliott Frank- Vox
Jack Holmes - Guitar
Rob Schultz - Bass
David Breda - Drums

Noah Buchanan - Additional Guitar and Nonsense
Ron Brinker - Additional Guitar
Sunny Dubetz - Additional Guitar

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Heads Held High Cleveland, Ohio

One of these days, I'll get to writing it. Was never satisfied with any of the stuff I hastily typed up when it was required of me.

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